Archive for Parenting
Music is such a defining thing in life
Posted by: | CommentsI recently got to spend an evening enjoying the philharmonic orchestra in our city. They were playing the scores for many movies and it was an amazing evening! I love music to begin with but to be in the room with an entire orchestra and to watch the musicians making music is just so powerful! One of the composers that they showcased was John Williams. Can I just say that that man is AMAZING!! I’ve always thought so but I was sure reminded again.
Anyway, the point of this post is this – as I was sitting there listening to the songs that they were playing it struck me that some of these songs really define our family. Star Wars has always been a huge thing in our family – my husband grew up loving Star Wars (as did I but not nearly as much as he did! ha!) and my children have loved it since they were wee little things. My son has just about every Star Wars toy ever created it seems – family members got him several at each birthday, Christmas, and any other holiday that they felt a gift was necessary. 
My husband took the kids to see all three of the newest Star Wars movies in the theater – this was a huge treat because it’s something we don’t usually do but maybe once or twice a year. All of that to say that listening to the Star Wars music brought back many fond memories of when my kids were little. I loved it!
Another composer they showcased was Hans Zimmer. His music for The Lion King was so beautiful! That man is truly gifted as well! This music also brought back fond memories because my son LOVED The Lion King for years starting from when he was about a year old. He had all the little toys of Mufasa, Rafiki, Simba, Nulla, etc. and he would sit and play with those all of the time. He watched the movie so many times he knew it by heart! The case for that tape (yes, VHS tape - it was a long time ago!) is VERY worn out!
So all of that to say that I am very thankful for composers and music. They bring such a joy to my life in so many ways. I can’t imagine life without music!
What differentiates A students from C students?
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve been contemplating something recently. I’ve thought about it before but I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit lately. How does a student become an A student? Is it simply spending the time to do the homework required? Does it go above and beyond that? Do some brains just not function the same way and so they are not capable of achieving higher grades? If grades are lower does it come from lack of motivation or laziness, does it come from lack of teaching, or does it just not click?
Now obviously, I’m not including kids with learning disabilities. I realize there are some things that can go on in our brains that really do prevent some of us from being able to learn and comprehend at the same level as others. And I’m also not saying every student needs to make all As – I realize that all kids are different and some will excel in some things and maybe not in other things. I guess what I’m curious about is whether, with the proper effort, it is possible for any kid (without a disability) to earn an A in any given class. I know it’s not necessarily probable but is it possible?
I realize that these questions aren’t necessarily something that can be answered with just a simple answer. And I realize that everyone probably has a different opinion on this. The reason I’ve been thinking about it is because of some things I’ve discovered over the last couple of years as I’ve taught a couple of classes to kids other than my own. Plus, as I mentioned a few days ago, I’m homeschooling another student other than my own kids and it’s been quite a bit different.
Since I am a homeschooler I have obviously only taught my kids and had experience with how my kids learn for the last ten years. As I said though, I’ve been teaching others for the last couple of years, as well as the student I added at home, and I’ve found that there is a lot of information that I’m teaching that some kids just don’t seem to get and I’m trying to figure out why. I have several ideas – all of which could be wrong – but I know that even if I was right with one it may not apply to all of the kids equally. Actually, I’m sure it won’t!
One idea is that the kids are not receiving the same level of education from their own parents (or school) that I am used to using with my kids. I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way but I know that I teach at a very high standard and I expect a lot out of my kids. Though I didn’t realize that until I became a part of this group and began teaching others. I honestly thought that most kids, especially since they were homeschoolers, would be at the same level as my kids. I have found that this is not the case at all. It just doesn’t seem like a lot of people place the same importance on education that I do. And I really don’t feel like I’m over-the-top! I’ve known some people that were over-the-top and I am so not there! haha! But there are kids that have come to my class (high school mind you) that do not know simple grammar rules. That is just unfathomable to me! I have actually had quite a few moms tell me that they haven’t really done a true grammar curriculum so they are “kind of” behind. WHAT!? Maybe I’m just crazy but to me that’s the most important subject. We, as a society, use that in everything that we do. Just in the most basic thing we do each day in speaking to one another we use grammar! (And if you’ve heard many people speak lately you know that this is definitely a subject that’s been skipped a lot!)
Another idea is that too many kids do not have a love for learning. They just don’t care so they just don’t try. I really wonder how many kids fall into this category and, if they really wanted to, if they could be making really good grades with a little more effort. To go along with this idea I think some kids try to finish their work just as quickly as possible so that they can move on to something else and by doing that they’ve lessened the quality of their work quite a bit. They need to realize it’s not a race. I know that kids have many things they’d probably rather be doing than sitting with school books and studying, but if they truly enjoyed learning would it be a little different? If it were presented in a better way would it be different? I know for us, a change in curriculum when we were struggling with something has made huge differences.
Of course the other idea is that it just doesn’t click with some kids. No matter how many times you explain something their brain just cannot wrap itself around the concept. If this is truly the case and it’s none of the above then it is completely understandable that we have such a wide span of grades within any group of kids.
Here is an example of what I’m talking about: I gave a test in my class this week and out of all the students, only a few got an A, there were a few Bs, a couple of Ds and one that completely failed it. I worked hard to review the material with them, I suggested items for studying, and everything that was on the test was something we had gone over in class. But there were still that many that did that poorly. I just don’t get it!
Maybe I’m too used to my kids and I’m expecting too much??? Again, I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way at all but my kids have proven themselves to be above average in the last two years. We participated in the standardized testing program a couple of years ago for the first time and my son scored in the 96 percentile and my daughter scored in the 97 percentile for the national results. My daughter took the ACT for the first time last month as a junior and got a 29 – and she didn’t even finish it because she ran out of time. So I have learned that my kids are strong academic students but is that because of the effort that we have put into it or is because they just have the kind of brain that really absorbs information?
I would love to hear anyone else’s thoughts and opinions on this matter. Let me know how your kids fare in school. Is it a struggle or is it easy? Do you see a big difference between your children and their peers? Any other teachers struggle with the level of learning in their classes?
Is there a light at the end of this tunnel??
Posted by: | CommentsDo you ever just feel like life is a little out of control? That’s kind of how I feel right now. There are so many good things going on right now but there are some things that just don’t seem to be going all that well and it really affects everything else in a way that can get so discouraging.
Part of the problem is that life is just too busy. I miss the days, back when my kids were in elementary school, when we spent a few hours on school and then we had time to play together and do other things. I miss the simpler form of homeschooling where I could sit down with my kids and really spend time teaching them new concepts and going over things with them and having fun learning. It’s not that we aren’t doing any learning now but high school is just a little bit different and a little bit more intense than elementary school.
We are also in a homeschool group that meets once a week for classes and we have loved it but this year it’s starting to wear on me. I really never thought I’d say that either. Last year if you’d asked me I would have told you I might just keep going even after my kids graduate! Now, I know that will definitely not be happening. I’m not even sure I want to do it next year! One of the worst things about it is I’m on the board. I’m wondering if I step down from that for next year if it will improve tremendously?? There is a lot of stress, a lot of pressure, and a lot more work that goes along with that job. Maybe things will get better if I give that up?
I’ve also taken on homeschooling another child this year – another high school student. I had great expectations and envisioned how it would go but it’s not really going like I thought it would. It’s not bad, it’s just different. But different enough that I’m having a hard time with it. I’m used to my own kids and it’s a totally different thing to take in someone else’s.
I really think after the end of this month that things will get a lot better. You see football season will be over and I won’t be running all over town or having my kids gone almost every night of the week anymore. I guess we’ll see!
Thanks for “listening” to my venting session. I believe I sound a little crazier than I even thought after putting this in writing! haha!
Can siblings be friends?
Posted by: | CommentsMany people assume that siblings will naturally be enemies of each other. It seems as if there are so many that don’t get along that it’s just become the norm for parents to expect their children to fight with each other. Of course, any time two or more people live in the same place there is going to be conflict – that’s a given! But it doesn’t have to mean that WWIII is going to break out at any time in your house!
Siblings can get along. That is something that has always been of utmost importance in our home. We have two kids – a boy and a girl – and we have taught them from a very early age that their sibling always comes first. Friends will come and go but their sibling will always be their sibling. We have instilled in them the value of treating each other with respect, with showing each other love, and of spending time with one another.
Our kids are in their mid and late teens now and they are best friends. They hang out together all the time. They have some friends that are the same and some that are different but they both get along with, and will hang out with, all of each other’s friends – together. They don’t throw a fit about having to do things together or include each other – they do it willlingly and without being told. (In fact, if I tried to separate them they’d probably get upset with me!)
Now, I’m not saying all of this to say ‘look at how wonderful my kids are.’ They have their issues – don’t worry! 
But, for the most part they don’t have many issues with each other. I’m just trying to say that it can be done. Siblings can be friends. I think it helps if you start teaching them the value of sibling relationships when they are very young. It’s not something easily started when they are fifteen years old and they can’t stand their little brother or sister! But if you nurture these relationships in your children they will grow into the most amazing relationships you’ve ever seen. I know it’s amazing to me! My sister and I didn’t get along very well when we were kids so to see my kids love each other the way they do blesses my heart like you would not believe!
Adultery = Destruction
Posted by: | CommentsThere is no way around that. Adultery and destruction go hand in hand. Adultery is based on lies and deceit so how can it be anything but destruction? I shared a couple of days ago about how adultery leads to disaster and yesterday I shared how to reduce the risks of adultery. If those points haven’t convinced you that adultery is dangerous and a very bad choice, I hope that what I share with you today will.
As I pointed out in the previous two posts, this series that I’ve written are based on points taken from our pastor’s sermon that he shared this week from a series called How to Wreck Your Life in 5 Easy Steps. Adultery is not something I have ever had to worry about in my own marriage. My husband and I have had our share of problems that we’ve had to deal with but adultery has never been one of them. We are both 100% committed to each other and making sure our marriage truly does last until death so doing things to jeopardize that by doing anything inappropriate with the opposite sex has just never been something we were willing to do. So as our pastor began preaching this sermon we were, quite honestly, cracking jokes to each other at the beginning when he talked about the percentages of people who commit adultery by the age of forty because it’s just so foreign to us! (Being that we are both so close to forty we were saying we don’t have much time left to make the statistic. Of course we were TOTALLY kidding!)
As the message went further and further, though, it really began to get to me. When he reached the point where he began to talk about the destruction to the family I literally lost it. I was sitting in church just weeping. I think my husband was a little concerned at first (not that he became unconcerned mind you!) but then he figured out why I was having so much trouble and whispered in my ear to ask, “Are you thinking about your parents?” Yes. That’s exactly what I was thinking. You see, my family was ripped apart when I was a young child and it is still devastating. That’s not something that ever goes away.
One of the most powerful statements our pastor made through this whole sermon was when he said that you need to visualize the destruction that this will cause if you are anywhere close to thinking about adultery. He said to think about telling your children that you are leaving the family and destroying everything you have built so that you can go be with another person. That’s when I lost it. Because that’s what my dad did. Not that he sat down and told us that but he left and went to be with another woman. He created another family for himself and left us behind. I would go visit him at few times throughout the year each year as I grew up but things were never the same again. I did not get to grow up with a daddy. I did not have a father there when I needed one. I still don’t have a relationship with him and, for the most part, I have moved on and I’m okay with that but deep down it still hurts very much. There are times, even as an adult, when a girl just needs a daddy. I don’t have that. And it really stinks!
So, if you are thinking that an “innocent” business meeting is no big deal – think again. If you think that an “innocent” business trip is no big deal – think again. If you think that talking to the opposite sex about anything personal – especially your marriage – is no big deal – think again. These things, and SO many more, lead to the path of destruction called adultery. Protect yourself, protect your spouse, and protect your children – don’t put yourself in situations that have the potential to lead to disaster.
You know, we all may sit and think that it will never happen to us but it really just takes little steps here and there moving in that direction and then, before you know it, you’ve done something you shouldn’t have. Watch the sermon. He gives a GREAT example of little steps that a lot of people probably think are innocent that will lead to disaster. You never know, it might save your family.
Please cover up!
Posted by: | CommentsMy kids and I went to the local water park today. I have to say that, even though it shouldn’t, it constantly amazes me what girls will leave the house wearing. I am amazed at the swimming suits that girls wear. What’s even more amazing to me is the fact that their parents buy these suits for them and give them permission to wear them! My under clothes cover more than these girls’ swimming suits do and I wouldn’t dream of going out in public in those! (I don’t usually use the word “under clothes” but I really don’t want to spell things out and have all kinds of creepy people finding this post because of word combinations that could be put together if I use other words. KWIM?)
Do these girls not understand what they are saying by dressing that way? Do they not understand what they are doing to every young man in their vicinity? It’s so sad to me that our society has encouraged young women to dress this way and that they feel it’s not only appropriate but stylish as well. Can we just have some respect for ourselves as well as for all those around us and cover up??
I’m sorry, but I personally do not want to see every girls’ cheeks (you know which ones I mean!) hanging out and I do not want to see almost every square inch of their cleavage. It disgusts me to have to walk around looking at this and it makes me mad that, in order to take my kids swimming, this is what we have to put up with!
I think parents who allow their daughters to dress this way should be ashamed of themselves. Seriously.
And one more thing – I’m sorry if this is tackybut I’m amazed at the swimming suits that large women wear. I’m not saying you have to be skinny to wear a swimming suit – I’m not skinny and I wear one! – but seriously, a bikini when you have fat rolls and cellulite all over your body??? Nobody wants to see that. There are cute swimming suits that cover those problem areas. I’m just sayin’.
Something to think about…
Posted by: | CommentsI saw this in an e-mail loop that I’m on and thought it was worth sharing:
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:
‘Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not
even 1 yr. Old and I’m pregnant again. I don’t want kids so close together.’
So the doctor said: ‘Ok, and what do you want me to do?’
She said: ‘I want you to end my pregnancy, and I’m counting on your help with
this.’
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: ‘I
think I have a better solution for your problem. It’s less dangerous for you
too.’
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: ‘You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2
babies at the same time, let’s kill the one in your arms. This way, you could
rest some before the other one is born. If we’re going to kill one of them, it
doesn’t matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you
chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: ‘No doctor! How terrible! It’s a crime to kill
a child!
‘I agree’, the doctor replied. ‘But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought
maybe that was the best solution.” The doctor smiled, realizing that he had
made his point.
He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that’s
already been born and one that’s still in the womb. The crime is the same.
Education or indoctrination
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve actually written a post about this topic before but here it is in the news again (as I’m sure it has been many times since I last wrote about it!). Seriously… these people REALLY feel like this is something kindergarteners need to know!?!? I guess they realize that the younger they can get children to believe something is okay the easier it will be to keep them believing that way. The whole idea is appalling to me.
A Poem to Encourage Mothers
Posted by: | CommentsI read this at The Homeschool Channel blog. It’s an awesome poem!
A Poem to Encourage Mothers
by Nancy Campbell
There are those who would spurn the vocation of mothers
And say of careers, it’s inferior to others,
I’ll have to admit that it’s not easy work,
It’s relentless and from it you cannot shirk.
It takes all of your energy being a mother and wife,
Requiring daily commitment and a disciplined life,
It demands all your resources of patience and love,
Long-suffering and wisdom from the Father above.
It takes self-control and continual endurance,
It needs constant faith and great perseverance,
It means total sacrifice, forgetting your self,
Sometimes you think that you’re left on the shelf!
And what about time? It’s no longer yours,
It belongs to all those who come in your doors.
Claim your own rights? No, they’re all gone too,
Like your right to sleep the whole night through!
It’s not so easy to crawl into bed with a book
Or go off and dream in some quiet little nook.
It seems like you’re totally losing your life
To be a good mother and a submissive wife.
But oh, faithful mother, please do not despair,
In God’s perfect plan you do have a share,
To fulfill your destiny planned from creation
Which is to nurture children and BUILD A NATION!
You’re walking in the footsteps of Jesus your Lord
Who sacrificed all, His life He out-poured,
He didn’t cling to His rights with selfish futility
He didn’t claim any privilege but walked in humility.
He gave up His life to save millions of others,
This principle works in the lives of all mothers,
When you lose your own life you’ll find it again,
A rewarding life, without guilt or shame.
So lift up your head, embrace your calling so high,
You’re in God’s perfect will, there’s no reason to sigh!
You may often feel worthless – don’t listen to this lie,
Your influence goes higher than the clouds in the sky!
As you nurture and train your God-given seed,
As you sharpen these ‘arrows’ by word and by deed,
You shape the nation – you determine its course,
Your mothering’s not wasted, it’s a great mighty force!
As your children leave home and go into the world
The proof of your training will soon be unfurled
You’ll influence countries where you’ve never been,
And down the generations its effect will be seen.
Your work is so powerful, no wonder it’s tough,
But God is behind you, He’s the GOD WHO IS ENOUGH,
His strength and His wisdom He will give to you,
He stands by His promises which are totally true.
He’ll always be with you right through to the end
As you follow His leading and deny the world’s trend,
Each morning you wake, your strength He’ll renew.
He’ll fill your home with His presence and His blessed peace too.
Household Management
Posted by: | CommentsI’m taking a little break from sharing about homeschooling fears because a new idea was on my heart to write about. I was in a great Bible study not too long ago that has some fabulous homemaking lessons. The Bible study was really great because every other week it had a lesson from Titus 2:3-5 which says:
3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
and on the other weeks we had a lesson on some type of homemaking skill. One of the ones that I loved was on household management. It gave me some really great ideas for taking care of my home. The verses for the skill sessions were Proverbs 31:10-31.
One of the most important things we can do is make sure that our husbands feel loved and appreciated when they get home from work. My husband is a neat freak so one of the ways that I try to show him that I love and appreciate him is by having all of the clutter picked up in the living room and our bedroom before he gets home. When it was colder outside I would even light some candles to give the house a nice smell and ambiance for when he walked in the door. Now that it’s warmer outside and still light when he gets home I try to have the windows open for fresh air rather than the candles burning. I also try to have dinner ready or almost ready by the time he gets here. That way we can all sit down and eat dinner together and he doesn’t have to wait long if he’s really hungry. In your home this may look completely different. You just need to figure out what would make your husband feel loved and appreciated and then do that.
The really cool thing about all of this is that when I started doing all of these things my husband didn’t actually see me doing most of them since he’s at work but he did notice all the little things here and there and I could tell he was happier and more relaxed all the time. It really did make a difference between us – for the better.
Another thing they talked about in this lesson was meal planning and grocery shopping. Many of the things they talked about were things I already put into practice but I did learn a couple of new things. One important thing to do is always have a menu and meal plan. Even if you don’t think you can stick by it every day, if you have it there to consult it makes meal time go so much smoother. One of the ideas that was new to me was using 3×5 index cards and listing breakfast, lunch, and snack ideas on them. I did that and hung them on the fridge and now I can look at those to get ideas for those meals when I’m not sure what to make.
One more area that really helped me in this lesson was chores for my kids. They suggested a wonderful idea of having zones for the kids. I broke their room into seven zones and each day they are responsible for cleaning that zone. That way, when their room is really messy, they don’t get overwhelmed at the thought of having to spend hours and hours cleaning their room. If they tackle each area a day it only takes a little bit of time and the room never gets completely out of control. I will say that I can see a big difference in my daughter’s room on the day that her zone is her floor! She definitely doesn’t take after her daddy.
