Archive for Friendship
Can siblings be friends?
Posted by: | CommentsMany people assume that siblings will naturally be enemies of each other. It seems as if there are so many that don’t get along that it’s just become the norm for parents to expect their children to fight with each other. Of course, any time two or more people live in the same place there is going to be conflict – that’s a given! But it doesn’t have to mean that WWIII is going to break out at any time in your house!
Siblings can get along. That is something that has always been of utmost importance in our home. We have two kids – a boy and a girl – and we have taught them from a very early age that their sibling always comes first. Friends will come and go but their sibling will always be their sibling. We have instilled in them the value of treating each other with respect, with showing each other love, and of spending time with one another.
Our kids are in their mid and late teens now and they are best friends. They hang out together all the time. They have some friends that are the same and some that are different but they both get along with, and will hang out with, all of each other’s friends – together. They don’t throw a fit about having to do things together or include each other – they do it willlingly and without being told. (In fact, if I tried to separate them they’d probably get upset with me!)
Now, I’m not saying all of this to say ‘look at how wonderful my kids are.’ They have their issues – don’t worry! 
But, for the most part they don’t have many issues with each other. I’m just trying to say that it can be done. Siblings can be friends. I think it helps if you start teaching them the value of sibling relationships when they are very young. It’s not something easily started when they are fifteen years old and they can’t stand their little brother or sister! 
But if you nurture these relationships in your children they will grow into the most amazing relationships you’ve ever seen. I know it’s amazing to me! My sister and I didn’t get along very well when we were kids so to see my kids love each other the way they do blesses my heart like you would not believe!
Things that have kept me sane the last week…
Posted by: | CommentsSince I have been trapped in my house – and in only my bed for most of the time! – for the last week after having surgery there were a few things that I am thankful for that kept me from going insane. Although if I don’t get out soon the insanity will kick in! 
1. My family
2. Reba
3. HGTV
) are House Hunters, Property Virgins (although the name of this show is ridiculous to me I do like the show), and My First Place. I also like the show Flip this House which is on A&E. I couldn’t even tell you how many episodes of each of these I watched this week! It kept me from going crazy though! haha!4. Friends & extended family
I also had so many friends sending me messages through e-mail and facebook, checking on me, and wishing me well. That was sure nice to find when I managed to get on the computer!! (The nice thing about laptops is that you can ask your kids to bring you the computer in bed! haha!) I also had some nice phone calls from some who wanted to check on me and that was very comforting as well. 5. The thing that kept me most sane and comfortable though…
There are, of course, other things that helped me through the week but these honestly were the bulk of my week. It sounds nice to think of being in bed for a few days and not having to do anything but after a few days – especially once all the medication starts wearing off – it gets old fast! I’m glad to be doing well and that I’m able to get out of bed now. I still have to move slowly and take it really easy but it’s getting better all the time.
More randomness
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s kind of late in the day but I had a couple of thoughts I thought I’d throw together on here…
I’ve been sucked into the land of Facebook. My daughter was asking for one and I wanted to see what it was before I allowed her to do it, well you have to sign up for it before you can get into it so… I signed up. I now have a facebook with four friends – my husband, my daughter, my (close enough to be a daughter) daughter, and a great girl on our softball team. 
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I also just wanted to share with my bloggy friends how much you mean to me. I’ve probably said this before but it’s worth saying again – I never dreamed I’d develop actual relationships with people on here but I have and I’m so thankful for all of you. You are each so special to me.
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Neil had a post the other day about abortion and ironic statements that pro-abortionist’s have made. The post generated a long (and still growing) comment thread about abortion that is pretty interesting. It astounds me how people try to justify the murdering of innocent babies with irrational and illogical arguments. There have been some extremely well-spoken people sharing the pro-life stance over there though and it’s been very interesting to follow.
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I thought I was going to freeze to death yesterday. Not really but it sure felt like it. Our high was supposed to be about 57 degrees and it actually got up to 69 by early afternoon. It was just gorgeous outside! How was I going to freeze in that you ask? Well, we had softball practice yesterday and in the time span of about thirty minutes to an hour or so the temperature dropped about 30 degrees!! Add a VERY strong north wind to that (not to mention the fact that our practice field is directly south of a small airport so there is NOTHING to block the wind!) and by the time our practice was over I could barely feel the parts of me that weren’t covered by clothing!!! My whole face and my hands were numb when I got in the car! And the rest of me wasn’t faring much better! I am so thankful for heaters in cars.
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I am so ready for spring.
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Those of you who have been around my blog for awhile know that we have been involved in church planting. Last summer (or there about) we kind of decided to put church planting on the back burner and attend a church in the area. Well, we kind of feel like God is speaking to us about this because we just haven’t felt that this church is where we’re supposed to be. My husband still feels a very strong calling to ministry and church planting in particular. We both want so much to minister to the lost. If you think of us please pray for us in this process. It’s such a hard path and so full of difficulties. We just really need to have some confirmation that this is the right path – some success in team building would be a great way for that to happen.
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Well, I’m off to prepare for family night! The last few Fridays it seems we’ve had something come up so that we couldn’t have a true family night so I’m excited about tonight. On the schedule: pizza and pop, maybe a fun game of Cranium – Turbo edition (have you played this game??? Seriously, it is SOOO much fun!!), and then probably a movie. Hope you all have a great weekend!
Super Bowl 2008
Posted by: | CommentsWell, the Super Bowl has come and gone again. All in all it was a pretty boring game. We could’ve watched the first drive of each team and then the last four (or so) minutes of the game and not missed a thing! I didn’t really care who won the game. I was kind of rooting for the Patriots simply because I thought as an athlete it would be really cool to go undefeated for an entire season but in the end when the Giants won I thought how cool it was for them to have defeated the team that had previously been undefeated! Confusing I know – that’s how my mind works though.
There were some really fun commercials during the game though. (Yes, that’s half the fun of watching the Super Bowl!) My favorite was the Diet Pepsi Max commercial:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJEVxfWpm7c]
Part of what was so funny is that anytime my husband and I hear this song we do that little head shake thing so the whole beginning of the commercial we were doing that and then at then end they’re all doing it! We just cracked up laughing! We were at some friends’ house watching and we looked over at them during the commercial and they were doing the same thing – which made it even funnier.
Our friends made some great food for the party. One of the things was something I’d never had before and it was sooooo good! She got it from Menus 4 Moms. It was:
Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Dip
- 1 can white chicken meat (substitute crab for even better flavor)
- 12 oz bottle of Franks Hot Sauce (or whatever type you prefer)
- 2 -8 oz packages cream cheese
- 16 oz bottle Ranch dressing
- 16 oz Monterey Jack or Cheddar Cheese*, grated
Dippers:
- Celery
- Tortilla Chips
- Scoop Chips
Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker and cook until bubbly. Serve with celery sticks, crackers, scoop chips, and/or bagel bits.
So, we had a great Super Bowl Sunday – how about you? What did you do? Did you have a favorite commercial?
Who I am
Posted by: | CommentsOne of my bloggy friends, Missy, recently wrote something that really made me do some thinking. Partly because a lot of what she wrote I could have written myself because I feel just like she does and partly because I wondered if I should be doing things differently on my own blog. Not because I think she was directing anything she said towards me or anyone else but because I wondered if I should be doing a better job of just being me on here.
Sometimes I’m afraid to share too much about myself because sometimes it seems too much of me can be a bad thing. I tend to scare people away or something. I haven’t been super successful with relationships in my life. Outside of my husband and my children, I’ve never had a relationship where somebody stuck by me no matter what. Not with parents, not with siblings, not with friends – nothing. And by being completely honest I’d have to tell you that my husband and I have had our fair share of problems as well. This year we will have been together for 20 years and I’m thrilled about that but that time has been like a roller coaster ride – up and down!
I also have this weird thing about people not knowing who I am. I don’t know why. I don’t have my name or anything like that on here but anyone who really knows me who happens to come across this blog and read very much of it would probably know exactly who was writing it. So remaining anonymous is kind of pointless in a way. (After I’d been blogging for awhile, I finally broke my anonymity and shared my name with some bloggy friends through e-mails. ) But the thought of people I know reading this kind of scares me. I don’t want people I know in real life to read my blog. I feel like this is a place I can escape and write about anything that I want and not worry about what people might think. I feel like this is a place where people can either take me or leave me and it doesn’t really matter. Of course that kind of contradicts my second paragraph doesn’t it! 
I can’t even make sense of myself so how can anyone else!
I went through a period recently where I felt like I had absolutely nothing to say. I thought very seriously about just giving up on blogging and moving on with my life. Sometimes I feel like I’m just wasting time and that I should be doing something else instead of spending time on the computer. In fact, I have cut the time I spend on here way down from when I first started blogging. I used to sit at the computer for several hours a day but thankfully I don’t do that anymore. Anyway, I started feeling like this whole thing was pointless – that I didn’t have anything to contribute and what I did write not many people were reading anyway. Of course, I never set out to be a blogger with thousands of followers anyway!
But there are other times when I love being on here. I feel such a connection with some of the women that I’ve “met” on here. I’ve read some wonderful posts that have really inspired me, helped me, encouraged me or whatever the case may be. And I think, based on a few comments I’ve received, that I’ve written some posts that have helped some people. I don’t really have that many people in my life that I can just sit and talk to about just anything and it’s very helpful to me to find that on here.
I have also found myself feeling down about people in the blogging world though. I have “met” people that I’ve enjoyed commenting back and forth with but then they either stop coming around or they’ve stopped blogging all together. That kind of makes me wonder if I should take the time to invest in other people on here. Not that the people themselves aren’t worth it but what’s the point if eventually everybody is going to move on? And then there are blogs that I read and comment on but I don’t think they ever read mine – at least they don’t comment. And that’s okay. I’m not saying anyone whose blog I comment on has to come and read mine and comment but it kind of feels like a one way conversation when I continually comment on someone’s blog and I never hear from them – through a response to the comment or a comment on my own blog.
I kind of sound like a whiner now don’t I! 
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post. I just had all kinds of thoughts running through my mind after reading Missy’s post and wanted to get them out. Sometimes I feel like I’m just a nut. Missy is going to think that if she doesn’t already. I tell her way too often how much we think a like. haha! I guess maybe I wanted to let you see a glimpse of the real me. The me that struggles with so many things in life, things like: being a good wife, being a good mother, doing a good job homeschooling my kids, coaching our softball team even though I don’t feel like I’m a very good coach, keeping house like I should, cooking the kind of meals my family enjoys, being the kind of friend I should be, being the child of God that I should be, living out my faith in a way that pleases God. I also struggle with my weight, some health problems, acne problems, hormonal problems resulting in mental problems like depression or something (I’m not even sure what it is that’s wrong) and these things weigh heavily on me. I struggle with friendships, finding a church where we belong, not having benefits (like insurance), problems with my past, abandonment issues. I envy families that have great relationships with their extended family. I know that’s not all of the things I struggle with but that kind of gives you an idea of where I’m coming from.
I just keep writing and I’m not really sure how to end this. It seems like there should be a better way to close this but if there is it’s not coming to me. Maybe it’s the very late hour.
Well, since it is really late my husband is kindly asking me to stop typing. I’ve been sitting in bed writing this and he’s trying to sleep next to me while my fingers are just moving all across the keyboard. I guess I’ll close for now and hope that those of you who actually read this all the way through aren’t bored to tears or falling asleep. Thanks for sticking with me if you are still here!
Sibling rivalry
Posted by: | CommentsIf you have more than one child in your home I’m sure you’ve struggled with this issue on more than one occasion. This is a subject I’ve given some thought to over the last year or so partly because of things I’ve witnessed in some families I know. There is one family that we know whose children really do not like each other at all. They choose to be away from their siblings, they are hateful to their siblings at times, and don’t really show any love towards each other. It’s really quite heartbreaking to see. There is another family we know whose children are very kind to one another, they are very protective of each other, and generally show each other much love. Our kids are more like the second family and I believe it’s partly due to the fact that we have never allowed our children to treat each other badly. If one is unkind to the other they get in trouble for it. The mother in the second family I described says if her children fight with each other they have to sit and hug one another until they’ve made up.
I think many people will have the attitude similar to “kids will be kids” and that it’s normal for siblings to dislike each other and fight. I don’t believe that’s true. If we teach our children from a young age that they must love and respect their siblings then I believe problems between them will be minimal. Now understand that I’m not saying that siblings will never fight or disagree – anybody who lives with another person is going to have disagreements and problems – but the way it’s handled and the way we require them to solve the problems will make a huge difference in the way they treat each other. If a child is allowed to be rude and hateful to his sibling and never gets in trouble for that then they will continue to do so and will probably never have a close relationship. On the other hand, if siblings are required to be kind to one another and solve problems in a loving way then they are likely to have a very good relationship.
We have taught our kids that they should always treat their sibling with love and respect – even if that means putting their sibling before a friend. Friends may come and go but a sibling will always be a sibling. Because of this our kids are good friends and get along very well.
So, if you have more than one child make sure that you don’t brush off sibling rivalry as “kids will be kids” but instead teach them to love and honor each other. It may be difficult but the rewards will be great as they grow older!
Getting back and catching up
Posted by: | CommentsI’m back! I know, some of you are probably thinking, “I didn’t know you were gone??” Well, thanks to that nifty time stamp on here I prewrote my posts for this week. I was really out of town for the last several days. So, I have a LOT of blogs to catch up on – my reader says I have 100+ blogs to read! – and I have comments on here to catch up on as well. I’m not sure how far I’ll get in it tonight but I’ll be working on catching up over the next few days.
I’ve mentioned before that we have some good friends that live across the country – well, they were traveling to this side of the country to visit family and they left a few days early and we met them in a city that was (sort of) on their way. It was such a great time – a time that ended way to quickly. These friends are like no other – we’ve become family and just love being with each other. I think this is the only family we’ve ever known where not only did the mom and I click but the dads clicked and the kids clicked. Know what I mean? The only explanation- especially if you knew the story of how we met and our history together – is that God specifically put us together. I’ll have to tell you the story sometime. Anyway, we’ve been with them the last few days having a great time. I already miss them but it’s good to be back home, too. Even our puppy is glad to be home. Some of our family kept him for us while we were gone and it was obvious by their stories that he had a great time and was well taken care of. When we got home after checking things out a little and making a trip outside he plopped himself down in his bed and has been there ever since.
I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone and finding out what’s been going on in your lives this week so I guess that’s it for now.
Stuck-up or just shy?
Posted by: | CommentsA friend and I were talking yesterday and part of our conversation got me thinking about something. How many times have we been in a setting where there is a group of people and we assume by the way people group together that there are cliques in the group or that people are kind of stuck-up or snooty? This friend and I were talking about an organization that we are both involved in and we were discovering that we knew many of the same people. The ironic thing is that there were a few people that we had a completely different take on. She and I are both somewhat introverted and aren’t really comfortable going up to people we really don’t know and striking up a conversation but because of the different roles we play in this organization I have been able to talk to some of these people more than she has. Because of this I have discovered that they are really friendly and just really nice people. My friend had a different take though and thought that some of them were rather cliquish. It just got me thinking that maybe sometimes when we see people that way it’s because of our own insecurities. And my intention isn’t to knock my friend because I’ve been guilty of the same thing. I think sometimes we assume (mistakenly) that because people don’t initiate a conversation with us or join the group that they are stuck-up or snobbish. Well, what if they are just shy and don’t feel comfortable initiating a conversation? I know for me that’s hard. What if they are talking to specific people because that’s the person they are most comfortable with and they have insecurities about talking to someone new as well? I have no problem talking to someone once the conversation has been started but to walk up to a complete stranger and start a conversation is really hard for me to do. With my friend and I seeing these same people in such a different way it just got me thinking that maybe I’ve been guilty of this. Maybe I’ve been too quick to assume the worst about someone when it’s really something completely different. Isn’t it interesting how we can be judgmental of people without even realizing we are doing so? What do you think – have you been in a group and felt this way?
Blogging and friendship
Posted by: | CommentsI feel like I need to move on and write about something else but I had to devote one more post to this whole situation going on with me on my blog. For those who don’t know about it you’re probably better off just skipping this post and coming back when things are back to normal! haha! For those who have gotten involved in the saga that is my life I just wanted to say something to you all collectively one more time. I am just astounded at the outpouring of love I have received in my comments and through e-mail. As I mentioned in one of my comments, I started this blog (at the encouragement of my husband) in order to try to share things that I have been through that I might help someone else going through something similar. I have been through many things in my life and learned many lessons – many the hard way. I have also been deeply involved in other things that I have been able to acquire a limited amount of knowledge that I also wanted to try to pass on. I never imagined that I would be on the receiving end of such wonderful friendships and dialogs within the blogging community. I had never even HEARD of a blog until this year and now I feel like I have such a wonderful friendship with so many (even though it’s limited to being online) through this adventure. Sometimes it makes me sad that it IS only online and that I can’t experience a friendship in person with some of you. I have grown very fond of several people who I consider my blogging buddies and I very much enjoy this whole experience. So once again, thank you for the love you all have shown me and for the prayers being offered on my behalf. It means more to me than you will ever know. God bless you all!! Now I’m off to Sonic – they are giving away free Root Beer floats tonight! Yippee!!
Friendships… I'm done with them!
Posted by: | CommentsSometimes I just want to stay in my house and never go out again. OR… get in an RV with my husband, my kids, and my puppy and travel the country and not worry about anything else. Sometimes I get so tired of other people and the way they act. My husband and I have had conversations about this – we feel like we’re stuck in a life that’s not making much sense. We want, very badly, to minister to people – to witness to people and bring them to the Lord. But we also don’t want to have anything to do with people sometimes. It seems like every time we open ourselves up to people we get hurt. Me in particular. I think I’ve written about this before but me and friendships don’t seem to go together very well. I have come to the conclusion that a friendship that I’ve had for five years has ended. This friend seemed to have been drifting away for months now. There were just little things here and there that made me think she really didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. But this weekend it became clear. She did something that hurt my daughter and as a result hurt me. My daughter and my friend’s daughter (my daughter’s good friend) are huge Pirates of the Caribbean fans and they have been talking for months about the opening of Pirates 3. Last summer we all went to Pirates 2 together and beforehand we went to lunch together and just made a day of it. They had a great time and wanted to do it again this year for this movie. We very rarely go the the movies so I said it would be find and they started planning it out. Well, as I said, they’ve been planning this for quite a while and even talked about it on Wednesday evening. Everything was set and my daughter was SOOOO excited! Well, Thursday I decided to go ahead and get our tickets in case it was really busy when we went on Friday so we called to see if they wanted us to get theirs. My daughter called me and said to get their tickets but they only needed 3 instead of 4 (she has 2 other daughters) because my daughter’s friend wasn’t coming. They told her that she had to do some work with her dad that day and so she wouldn’t be able to come. My friend also said she had errands to run so they weren’t going to meet us for lunch. Now remember, my daughter had just talked to them THE PREVIOUS EVENING and everything was still supposed to happen as planned. I have no idea what happened in those 12 hours or so but something changed. I called my friend to find out what happened and she didn’t answer my call nor did she ever return my call. I left her a message asking if everything was okay and telling her that my daughter was pretty upset that her friend wasn’t coming now. I was nice but I wanted her to know that she had hurt her by taking this away from her after they had waited months to do this. The really weird thing was, when we showed up at the movies my daughter’s friend was there. I don’t know if the message I left made a difference or what but for some reason she showed up. The really weird thing was that my friend didn’t say more than a couple of words to me the whole time we were there. She also didn’t really speak to my daughter nor did she say anything to my husband or my son. This is a family that when we would all see each other we would normally hug each other for a greeting and be excited to see one another. I was met with silence today by her and only one of the girls came up and gave me a hug and said hello. My mom went with us to the movie and even she commented that my friend “sure wasn’t very friendly today.” I have no idea what caused all this. As I said, she has been drifting away for months. She hasn’t called me, she hasn’t returned my calls or e-mails, the couple of times I’ve talked to her she’s told me how busy she is, she will be at the same location I am and know that I am there and not come anywhere near me to say hello. It’s just weird! I told my husband today that I am through with friends. He is my best friend anyway so from now on I told him he’s it! I may make him mad or irritate him but at least he stands by me and doesn’t desert me. I’m so tired of being deserted by friends. I feel like I must have the plague or something. I know I’m not perfect and I know I have a lot of faults but don’t we all? Now the last good friend I have lives all the way across the country. Sometimes I wish she was here with me but then other times I think maybe it’s best that she’s there. I’m afraid I’d end up pushing her away too.
