Marriage…it isn’t a piece of cake

I’ve been thinking about marriage lately.  I wrote some posts awhile back about adultery and those are continually my most read posts (you can read them here if you wish – part 1, part 2, and part 3).   I’m not sure if I should be sad about that or glad.  On one hand, I’m sad because that means that a lot of people are dealing with adultery, which I know should not be a shocker to me but still…I hate that for them.   On the other hand, I’m glad that people are searching for answers and I can only pray that maybe something that they find and read, whether it be here or elsewhere, will help them make the decision NOT to commit adultery.

I say all of that to say that marriage is not a piece of cake.  It’s not just something that you decide to do one day and life is pure bliss for the rest of your days.  Marriage is hard work, marriage requires compromise, marriage requires sacrifice, and most of all marriage requires a choice - a choice to love.  Many people think that when you “fall in love” that those emotions that you have at that time will last forever.  Then when those feelings start to change, because I can guarantee you they will, they decide that they aren’t “in love” anymore and they walk away from what used to be a good marriage. Emotions change over time – they go up and down and never stay constant.  Love is not an emotion – it is a choice.

Marriage is something you have to actively participate in every day, you have to actively make the decision to love your spouse, you have to be fully committed to upholding the vows that you made on your wedding day.  I’m not trying to make it sound like it’s always a hard thing to do – most days it’s a very easy thing to do!  But there are those days where we are struggling and we are mad and we are wondering what we got ourselves into!    On those days, it’s vitally important that you make the choice to love.

My husband and I have been married for nineteen years.  We have had a lot of hard times, a lot of struggles in our marriage, but we have actively made the choice to choose love.  We have agreed that we will stick together no matter what.  We made a commitment to each other nineteen years ago and we have both agreed to stand behind that decision and not waiver from it.  Has it been hard?  At times.  Has it been worth it?  ABSOLUTELY!  We have an amazing marriage, we have an awesome relationship with one another, and we have the greatest family one could ask for.  You see, because of the commitment we have made to each other we have provided a safe and loving family for our children.  They don’t have to worry about one of us ever leaving, they don’t have to worry about whether or not we love each other – they can see it by the way we have chosen to live our lives – by choosing love.

So, what will you choose?  Will it be love and marriage?