How to reduce the risks of adultery

Yesterday I shared with you five steps you could take to commit adultery and ruin your marriage. I hope you found that you were able to say that you weren’t doing any of those five things! Today I want to share with you ways that you can radically reduce the risks of committing adultery. Proverbs 5 is a great passage to read to help you beware of how dangerous it can be. I encourage you to go and read it.

Just as I mentioned yesterday these points have been taken from the sermon that our pastor preached this last week at church.  I would highly recommend that you go and watch it.  It may be one of the best investments in your marriage!

Anyway, to continue on…

The important thing to remember is that you need to do whatever it takes to reduce the risks of committing adultery.  Here are five steps to help you with this:

• Keep a growing relationship with Christ.  If you are seeking to serve Christ in all that you do you are much less likely to stray in your marriage.
• Never be alone with the wrong people.  You should never place yourself in the position of being alone with the opposite sex. Not only can it be dangerous but it just gives the appearance of something bad. If you were to have a business lunch with the opposite sex and someone you or your spouse knows were to walk in and see you dining with that person, what would they think? Would they assume something is going on? Always protect yourself by having another person with you.
• Never talk badly about your marriage with the wrong people.  This is SO important!  Once you start talking about the problems in your marriage and the bad things about your spouse not only does that person only have a negative image of your spouse but if you are confiding in the opposite sex about your marriage you are becoming emotionally intimate with them.  The only person you should be sharing with is your spouse!  Things cannot get worked out unless you are working together.  If things are bad enough that you feel like you need to talk to someone else seek a trusted marriage counselor for help – not the shoulder of a friend or co-worker.
• Surround yourself with strong marriages.  Our pastor gave a great example for this – if you are surrounded by people who think it’s okay to cheat and commit adultery what’s going to stop you from doing it?  You will become so used to the idea that people cheat that you will do it without a thought.  Surround yourself with people who have good marriages, who care for their spouses, and who cherish the vows they made when they got married.
• Avoid all inappropriate places and situations.  Just as I said before, a business lunch with the opposite sex is not appropriate.  You should always do things in groups if it’s business related and if that’s not possible then just don’t do it.  Have phone meetings or meetings at an office where there are plenty of people around – not a restaurant setting with just two of you.  At my husband’s office there are men and women that work in the same office and the set up of the office is one large room with two smaller offices off of that.  My husband and his boss have made the rule for the office that the men will never leave one man there if any women are still present and a man and woman are never to be in one of the smaller offices with the door closed.  It’s just safer for everyone involved that way.  I trust my husband completely and don’t worry about what he might do but I really admire him as well as his boss for taking this stand and making sure everything stays completely appropriate.  Not only does that show respect and boundaries for the women working in the office, it shows honor and respect for the wives of the men who are not there with them.

The main thing that you need to be doing, besides all of these great tips, is investing in your marriage.  If you are pouring your heart and soul into your marriage and your spouse you are much less likely to feel like you need to seek attention from outside of your marriage and your spouse will be the same.

What five steps do we have to accomplish this?

• Get transparent – be totally real with your spouse
• Get alone – have a date night every week – spend time with just your spouse
• Get spiritual – pray together
• Get help – if things get bad seek help from a trusted counselor
• Get n*ked.  I think that’s self explanatory. 

Our pastor shared a quote that I just LOVED that I’d like to share with you:  If the grass looks greener in someone else’s yard – it’s time to water yours!  Isn’t that awesome!  We don’t get green grass without taking care of it and we don’t have a great marriag without taking care of it.  Invest in your marriage and your spouse and you will reap the rewards.

The last part of the series is equally imporant as all of these things so I  hope you’ll come back tomorrow for the rest.  I will talk about the destruction that adultery causes and my first-hand experience growing up in broken home.

Take care and happy marriages!