Comments on: Adultery – it leads to disaster

By: Marriage…it isn’t a piece of cake :: Mom Loves Being at Home! A blog on homeschooling and being a stay-at-home mom.

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 16:42:01 +0000

[...] adultery and those are continually my most read posts (you can read them here if you wish – part 1, part 2, and part 3). I’m not sure if I should be sad about that or glad. On one hand, [...]

By: Adultery = Destruction :: Mom Loves Being at Home! A Blog on Homeschooling and a Stay at Home Mom.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:18:14 +0000

[...] lies and deceit so how can it be anything but destruction? I shared a couple of days ago about how adultery leads to disaster and yesterday I shared how to reduce the risks of adultery. If those points haven’t [...]

By: momlovesbeingathome

momlovesbeingathome — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:05:47 +0000

Very well said, Matthew!

By: Mathew

Mathew — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:55:19 +0000

Seems to me that items two through to five will only occur if item number one – neglect your marriage/spouse – well under way.

The other four points would be difficult to eventuate if you’re already giving your marriage the attention that it deserves.

And the sooner people realise that “being in love” is more about working out that love – daily! – rather than relying on a “feeling” of love, the stronger their marriage will be and greater the example their life together will be for their children and those around them.

By: momlovesbeingathome

momlovesbeingathome — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:54:10 +0000

Theo, your list is exactly right! I touched on that kind of stuff in my post today.

I agree with you that friends and outside interests are not bad things at all. It IS important to get out and do things and live life – just don’t do them and exclude your spouse from everything you’re doing.

By: theobromophile

theobromophile — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:16:50 +0000

The flip side of your list seems to be this:

Pay attention to your spouse. Invest time and energy in your marriage.

Flirt… with your spouse! Who wants to say their vows and never be flirted with again?

Find time to be a husband/wife to your spouse – date each other again. Set aside time for each other.

Never have “invisible friends.” Friends of the opposite sex are fine… but you and your hubby (or wife) should be doing things with that person (and his/her significant other, as applicable). Good parents ensure that their children don’t have invisible friends – that the parents know Amy and Danielle and whomever else little Susie is going to the mall with. Likewise, spouses should interact with each other’s friends.

Final thought: other friends and outside interests are not inherently bad things. It’s helpful for women to have their women interests and men to have their guy interests; it keeps the parties from smothering each other and enlivens a marriage.

By: momlovesbeingathome

momlovesbeingathome — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:22:20 +0000

That’s a great rule to have, Missy! We are the same way.

I’m so sorry to hear about your experiences with this issue. It’s so tough to deal with it as a child. I had to deal with it as well although my experiences were far different from yours in some ways. One similarity though – my dad married the woman that I’m pretty sure he left my mom for (I was little so I don’t know for sure what the true story is) and they are till married and it’s been about 30 years. Crazy!

By: missy

missy — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:25:55 +0000

My husband and I have a rule: we just don’t spend time alone with the opposite sex. EVER. No excuses, no exceptions. It isn’t a trust issue, it’s a flesh issue. Don’t open the door and you have nothing to worry about!

Oddly enough, I have two completely different experiences with this issue. My dad cheated on my mom when I was small BIG TIME. Some of my earliest memories are driving around in the car in the middle of the night, all of us girls in our jammies, looking for my dad. It most definitely destroyed their marriage.

Then when I was in high school my mom had an affair with a married man. It was awful. His wife would drive by our house (hello…just like we used to do!) and yell things at our house, ect. They divorced and my mom married him! They’ve been married almost twenty years, apparently one of the .075% you referenced. Weird.

By: Soul mates? Apparently not. « 4Simpsons Blog – Eternity Matters

Soul mates? Apparently not. « 4Simpsons Blog – Eternity Matters — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:47:25 +0000

[...] Apparently not. Posted on September 16, 2009 by Neil MomLovesBeingAtHome has a great post (Adultery – it leads to disaster) that reminded me of one of my least favorite terms: Soul mates. Go read her post about the [...]

By: momlovesbeingathome

momlovesbeingathome — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:21:34 +0000

Thanks, Neil. It’s definitely a message that needs to be spoken. It’s been brushed under the rug or thought of has okay behavior for too long and it’s wreaking havoc on families.

I hope that people will watch the message and realize how important it is! I’ll be following this up with at least one if not two more posts about it this week and I’ll share some of my own personal experiences from the viewpoint of the child involved so check back!